Friday, June 20, 2014

Drifted Apart

You might be thinking, "You...are writing a blog post about divorce? You've never even dated!" You are right.  I have never dated.  I don't like to hold it against myself. :)  Leading a single life leads me to look at the lives all around me.  I see people all the time and watch what they do.  I look at how they live and how they work on their relationships from an outside perspective.  Little do I know what's actually going on behind closed doors and sometimes divorce is a necessary thing but regardless, I feel like divorce is a huge issue that is progressively becoming more wide spread.

I look at so many celebrities now a days who are divorcing for seemingly no reason.  They always release the statement, "Irreconcilable differences" and say "We remain best friends but have drifted apart" This is where my passion against divorce stems.   Who has ever known relationships to be easy?  I am 26 years old and I have been a best friend, good friend, just friends, an acquaintance, to that awkward bubbly girl always laughing.  It took me a long time to realize what true friendship really was.  My best friend, Liz, taught me that.  We have been through so many things together.  We've even conquered long distance relationships.  She was in Ghana and I was back home in America.  This lasted for 2 years.  During that time, I feel like we grew closer and not farther apart.  We both realized the value in our friendship and we worked hard at keeping in contact.  We have been brutally honest with each other, and we have goofed around and laughed so hard at seemingly the stupidest things.  That is why we are best friends.  How easy it would have been to have hugged her goodbye that day she left for Ghana and given up when our internet and phone connections would fail.  When we couldn't talk to each other for days or weeks.  Through the tough times, and through many trials and tribulations, we came out of that 2 year separation stronger friends then we were before.

Where is the commitment? What happened to the vow, "Through good times and bad, in sickness or in health, till death do us part" Why even stand in front of a church or pastor, friends and family and proclaim a promise that you will be together for the rest of your lives when so many today are giving up hope after a year, 2 years, 5 years, 20 years, and even 30.

Please don't give in to the lie of drifting apart.  Every relationship will drift apart if you let it.  It means one or both of you have gotten lazy and don't want to try and more.  Maybe it's the appeal of finding someone else out there, something new, maybe the same old same old... simply got old.  Maybe you never did anything at all and the love you shared for each other seemed to have vanished.  Regardless, you have made a promise, a vow before God and witnesses that you would help each other and be by each other through the bad times, and not just the good times.  That means, when the water well runs dry, you get more water to fill it.  Do what you have to do, work as hard as you have to work.  Stay together for your family, for your sake, and for hundreds of people who look up to you.

Please keep in mind, I never tolerate abuse.  Divorce in some situations is inevitable.   I would never tell someone to not get divorced when they are getting beaten.  In fact I would say, "Run! Get out of there! You deserve so much better than that!"  I am mainly speaking in regards to those that say they fell out of love with someone and no longer wish to be with them.  I highly encourage you before you say, "I do" to really look inside yourself and say, "Will I fight for this person, Do I cherish and love them enough to really spend the rest of my life with them and build a family together?"   If you have doubts, then don't do it.  Be sure! This vow is not to be taken lightly!

I always love it when I see an elderly couple holding hands and walking down the street.  How sweet to see they still got it after so many years.   Kissing in the park even! They act as if they were newlyweds, but instead they have been together for 40+ years. What an accomplishment! Especially for now-a-days.   You too can be that statistic, that elderly couple walking and kissing in the park.  Work hard! You can do this.  But realize, marriage takes work.  It is and never will be easy.

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