Friday, June 20, 2014

Drifted Apart

You might be thinking, "You...are writing a blog post about divorce? You've never even dated!" You are right.  I have never dated.  I don't like to hold it against myself. :)  Leading a single life leads me to look at the lives all around me.  I see people all the time and watch what they do.  I look at how they live and how they work on their relationships from an outside perspective.  Little do I know what's actually going on behind closed doors and sometimes divorce is a necessary thing but regardless, I feel like divorce is a huge issue that is progressively becoming more wide spread.

I look at so many celebrities now a days who are divorcing for seemingly no reason.  They always release the statement, "Irreconcilable differences" and say "We remain best friends but have drifted apart" This is where my passion against divorce stems.   Who has ever known relationships to be easy?  I am 26 years old and I have been a best friend, good friend, just friends, an acquaintance, to that awkward bubbly girl always laughing.  It took me a long time to realize what true friendship really was.  My best friend, Liz, taught me that.  We have been through so many things together.  We've even conquered long distance relationships.  She was in Ghana and I was back home in America.  This lasted for 2 years.  During that time, I feel like we grew closer and not farther apart.  We both realized the value in our friendship and we worked hard at keeping in contact.  We have been brutally honest with each other, and we have goofed around and laughed so hard at seemingly the stupidest things.  That is why we are best friends.  How easy it would have been to have hugged her goodbye that day she left for Ghana and given up when our internet and phone connections would fail.  When we couldn't talk to each other for days or weeks.  Through the tough times, and through many trials and tribulations, we came out of that 2 year separation stronger friends then we were before.

Where is the commitment? What happened to the vow, "Through good times and bad, in sickness or in health, till death do us part" Why even stand in front of a church or pastor, friends and family and proclaim a promise that you will be together for the rest of your lives when so many today are giving up hope after a year, 2 years, 5 years, 20 years, and even 30.

Please don't give in to the lie of drifting apart.  Every relationship will drift apart if you let it.  It means one or both of you have gotten lazy and don't want to try and more.  Maybe it's the appeal of finding someone else out there, something new, maybe the same old same old... simply got old.  Maybe you never did anything at all and the love you shared for each other seemed to have vanished.  Regardless, you have made a promise, a vow before God and witnesses that you would help each other and be by each other through the bad times, and not just the good times.  That means, when the water well runs dry, you get more water to fill it.  Do what you have to do, work as hard as you have to work.  Stay together for your family, for your sake, and for hundreds of people who look up to you.

Please keep in mind, I never tolerate abuse.  Divorce in some situations is inevitable.   I would never tell someone to not get divorced when they are getting beaten.  In fact I would say, "Run! Get out of there! You deserve so much better than that!"  I am mainly speaking in regards to those that say they fell out of love with someone and no longer wish to be with them.  I highly encourage you before you say, "I do" to really look inside yourself and say, "Will I fight for this person, Do I cherish and love them enough to really spend the rest of my life with them and build a family together?"   If you have doubts, then don't do it.  Be sure! This vow is not to be taken lightly!

I always love it when I see an elderly couple holding hands and walking down the street.  How sweet to see they still got it after so many years.   Kissing in the park even! They act as if they were newlyweds, but instead they have been together for 40+ years. What an accomplishment! Especially for now-a-days.   You too can be that statistic, that elderly couple walking and kissing in the park.  Work hard! You can do this.  But realize, marriage takes work.  It is and never will be easy.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Is it Enough?

I have a friend I have known for several years, her name is Leah.  She is a joyful person, has a great smile, and her talent in drawing is of prodigy proportions.  I love her goofy sense of personality.  Mainly because I am goofy, we can be goofy together.  Last year I was informed that Leah had been missing for the last 2 years in sex slavery.   Heart wrenching isn't it?  Tell me about it.  Someone with so much potential who has been snatched up into a world she has no control off, a world she can't get out off.  I sit here and I pray and I pray that God delivers her out of her bondage.  Lord only knows what kind of torture she must be going through.  I always wonder though, What can I do?

Pray? Sure I can pray.  Is it enough?  I don't mean to minimize the power of prayer.  Prayer is what connects us to someone who can actually do something.  Prayer is our way of interceding for those who are lost.  Prayer provides miracles.  So I will continue to pray and to pray, but why do I get this sinking feeling I am still not doing enough?   Today is Leah's birthday and we're at almost 3 years since she's been missing.  A few of my friends mentioned her in a post on facebook, so I posted something too in hopes that maybe enlisting the prayers of others; we can petition the Creator of the Universe to free her from those that enslave her.

I really have noticed that as humans, we really cannot grasp the reality of human trafficking.  We cannot put ourselves in that person's shoe to catch a glimpse of what amount of torture they are in fact dealing with on a day to day basis.  We've tuned it out.  Human trafficking is such a monumental problem, that to one person, fixing it seems an almost impossible task.  So we've learned to silence the heartbreaks of others in an effort to protect our own sanity.  One can only bear so much compassion before they start to break.  But we can't! We mustn't! The lives of so many men, women, and children are depending upon the few and brave to stand up and free them.  Not everyone is called to be on the front lines, don't get me wrong.  But I still believe that we can still do something.  We can volunteer our time, raise awareness, donate, or just plain be involved.

My sheepish little facebook post requesting for prayer my seem small, but to God it's something.  He is one person I know who CAN handle the pain that everyone is going through, and He is one person I know who can actually DO something about it.  So I will pray, pray, and pray some more.  I will request people to pray for her, I will post her prayer request on every prayer board  I can in  hopes that I may hear the news that she is returned, safe and sound, in the caring arms of those who love her.  

I challenge you to not numb the pain that others are going through.  I challenge you to actually step inside the world of what someone else may be experiencing.  Compassion leads to action.  Just maybe you can be the difference in someone else's life.  And if you don't mind saying a prayer for my friend, Leah.  I will forever be grateful. 

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Playing Mom

I can't believe it has been 6 months since my last post.  Life has been crazy busy and I feel horrible that I haven't been able to keep up with my blog.  I dearly miss it.  I hope everyone is well. 


My sister had back surgery about a week and a half ago.  She suffered from her two lower vertebrae in her spine closing together and pinching the nerves in between.  The doctors have done an amazing job in fixing it however the recovery is not as smooth.  Due to the nerves being pinched for so long, they are now trying to adapt to the new found space.  This causes inflammation, numbness and severe pain in her legs.  One she was not expecting.  I am here helping her take care of her kids for a week.  It's been fun to not think about work for a week and spend time with 3 little blondies whom I dearly love. 


Playing "Mom" for a week has been enjoyable for me.  It's fun to see what the a stay at home mom really does in a day.  Preparing 3 meals a day, doing the dishes, dressing the kids, changing diapers, taking my nephew to the bus stop, going to the community center for playtime, playing with Barbie's with my niece and Lego's with my nephew, going to the library for storybook time, picking up my nephew from the bus stop, doing homework, putting them down for naps, and yet finding time to eat my cold lunch which usually ends up being a sandwich that was chowed down during spare time. 

WOOFTA, that's all I got to say.  Stay-at-home Mom's have their work cut out for them.  I'm not even doing the laundry! All in all with Friday being my last day of taking care of them, this has been a fun week! I sincerely love being a stay at home "Mom" if I can even call my self that.  Every moment has been encouraging for me.  Sure, I have been tired and sometimes wondered how many times I've sat down to only get up 5 seconds later.   Sure, I 've had my fair share of crying, but I've also had my fair share of laughing.  Each moment with them is now a cherished memory.  Ones I would have missed out on had I not been here to take care of them. 

I've gone without make up, and my hair flat or in a pony tail feeling like I look like a dump, and my precious 3 year old niece cuffs her hands around my face and says, "Kelley, you are so pretty" I've never felt so beautiful.   One day we were playing play-doh.  We were building everything from toilets to houses, and even spaghetti.  My niece would show me a lump of dough and say, "Look Kelley! A pancake!"  While we were still playing with our play-doh, my 5 year old nephew laid his head on my shoulder and said, "Thanks Kelley for a fun day!"   It's these moments that make this week, wonderful.  It makes it all worth while.  To see the smile and sheer joy as my little 1 1/2 year old niece comes running to me for a hug.  I love those kids, to the moon and back. 


I've always known I wanted to be a mother, and I've always known that being a stay at home mom was the only "job" I have ever wanted.  Somehow this week has only confirmed that.  I can't wait for the day when I find my self staying home with my own family.   What a day that will be.