Monday, January 30, 2012

No Excuse

As a Christian, the bible says that we are "Without excuse."  I find that saying is haunting me lately.  There are so many things we make excuses for, so many things we make up false thoughts in our head so that we can still do the things we love, the things we replace God for, so we can be "Happy."

A long time ago, my mother and I were having a heart to heart conversation about our weight problems.  As we were unloading on each other and helping each other up, she had something to me that still haunts me to this day.  I don't remember how exactly she said it but it goes something like this, "A Christian who is an emotional eater shows non Christians that you are hypocritical," Christians proclaim freedom in Christ, yet I walk around everyday with an encompassing sign that says, "I am addicted to food.." that is proven by how I look.  She's right, she's very right.  I can't seem to shake it but who am I to tell people you need to put Jesus first in your life, when I myself so obviously put Him second? Who am I to tell someone to find your comfort in God, when I myself so obviously find comfort in food?

A couple years ago, I know that I was promised by God my freedom in this area.  Freedom hasn't come yet, but it isn't because God hasn't come through with His promise, it's because I won't let Him.  I am prohibiting my freedom somehow and I am determined to let go, and let God. Whether it's fear of the unknown, or my past failures who never fail to let me know that I have failed and will do it again, whether it's because I have a lack of faith, or trust, or whatever the reason is.  I am actively leading a hypocritical lifestyle

I am bought with a price, Jesus paid it all so I could have freedom.  I wasn't meant to be in bondage, and I wasn't meant to live a life of addiction.  God has something BIG planned for me, I am meant to be witness, to spread the word of Christ and to ultimately bring honor and praise to my Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ himself. This is it, This is now.  I take a stand and say, "I am a child of God, no weapon formed against me shall prosper!"

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Life Happens!

Life does indeed happen.  After receiving the surprising news that I was losing my newest job about a week ago, I can not even begin to describe how amazing God has been through it all.  The peace that has encompassed me has been nothing short of valuable.  From a person who has lost their job twice in four months, I am doing amazingly well.  My God is still God, and He has blessed me immeasurably.

What do I do now? Well, I go on, I try again, I fill out more job applications, I apply for unemployment, and I strive for the next step God has for me.  I have a few leads for a new job,  some of which excite me! I will definitely keep you posted.

When I first heard that I was losing my job, normally I would call my mother and bawl my head off wondering what my next step would be, but God had already poured his peace on me that went I got to my car, I immediately started talking with God what our next step should be.  This was when all the plans to move out came to be.  It was decided that I want to be fair to my current landlords and give them my notice since I know there is no way I can pay rent next month.  They were supportive of this decision.  As a result I am going back to live with my uncle in Bloomington.  I think it will be nice since he has a basement that is now finished and I can live down there and have basically my own two bedroom apartment.

Tons of questions go through my mind but I find it easier to tell God about them and just dismiss them right away because they can  put me in the wrong mindset.  I want to have a good attitude about this because I KNOW beyond a doubt that God is guiding me through this and He is leading me somewhere even better than ever before.  I have complete and absolute trust in Him and what He is doing in my life.  He is a God who provides, He has provided for me every step of the way and He wouldn't fail me now. To have a wrong attitude if even for a moment could mess things up.

I am perfectly happy knowing God is leading me.  To have someone take control and let me know which way is better is such an amazing feeling.  He spoils me, blesses me tremendously and happens to love me even more. How blessed am I to even know Him.