Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Does She Know?

I look at the world, and the people in it and see pain.  One of the things that I can not bare to see is a woman struggling within herself to strive for the never ending painful race to be beautiful, to be skinny.  As one who has been down that road, and can still travel down it at times, I seem to be even more aware of those who have the same tendencies. 

Someone walked by me today and was talking with her friend.  She was shaking an Ice Mountain water bottle to mix the contents she had just put in it.  While doing this, her friend asked, "What's that?" She responded by saying confidently, "It's a protein drink, I'm on this diet" Albeit, I only heard part of the conversation but immediately my heart broke for her.  I looked at her and noticed how skinny she was, thankfully she didn't look anorexic or anything but she was definitely skinny. 

My mind races to all those countless women who will starve for months because they see themselves as fat.  Who forceably shove their finger down their throat to throw up any food they have just indulged in, all because they feel even that one bite of hamburger will be noticed to everyone.  Who cut themselves because they need an escape from the world, from the pain.  Who binge each night stuffing their mouth full of food because the world has considered them as ugly, as an outcast for being overweight.  I keep thinking, Does she know? Doesn't see see that she is already beautiful? Stop torturing yourselves! Stop killing yourselves! If I could, I would give the biggest hug in the world right now, just to show you how much I care about you.  You are worth way more than how you are treating youselves.  The world may see you as ugly, or fat, but I look at you and see sheer perfection, someone so gorgeous it radiates from within her. 

I am hear to tell you, you are not alone, you are loved, you are cherished beyond meausre! No matter what the world may say, no matter what your boyfriend says, no matter what your parents think, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Please, I beg of you, take care of yourselves.  You are irreplaceable. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

New Experiences

Familiar.  Content. No change.  The life we've known, the situations we've encountered and come to expect, the circumstances we've figured out how to deal with.  But what if something "new" comes along?  What happens then? When life throws us for a loop?

For me, the answer is clear.  The barriers go up with out delay.  This instantaneous subconscious action creates a wall to protect me from any further hurt or pain that this new change might cause me.  It's rather amazing how the human nature has it's own way of dealing with things. How it's natural instinct is to protect, to set up boundaries, to save the mind from any further emotional pain.  True, this plan may work in some occasions, it allows to us to stay sane in certain instances when hurt does come our way, but what if it wants to protect us from good things? What do we do then? The mind is a battlefield.  My brain immediately races to figure things out, to inspect the situation and see if it's worth it, to see if it's okay to proceed with caution, or to retreat and run away. 

My only answer I've come up with, Live a little.  Take risks once in a while.  Try new things.  Get hurt, after all we've been hurt before and we can handle it again.  Albeit only with God's help can we truly conquer our pain and experience true forgiveness.  My God is mighty to save and He happens to love me more than the universe, I know without a doubt that He will protect me when the time is right and He'll get me through any pain I may or may not experience.  What would the world be like with out God? Meaningless, pointless, bare, without color or beauty, dead. I think the only barrier I need to take with me is the Shield of Faith.