Sunday, July 25, 2010

Continually Amazed

Church is getting more and more amazing each week.  I love that our pastor is talking about very serious and often ignored topics such as politics, and why bad things happen to good people, worship and all that.  It gets me wondering about what is going to be talked about next week? But you know what has been really amazing? The worship.   The worship has been unbelievable.  God has been speaking to me a lot through worship.  It makes me feel so touched because it reminds me that God is still here with me.  So often durning the week I start to doubt.  I get to thinking, "Oh no! Somethings wrong!" I dwell on all the negative and sometimes can forget that God is still there and working on me.  That He still loves me, He's still has grace, mercy, and freedom extended to me.

To be honest, I absolutely love when God works on me.  It's the most painful thing in the world but I just can not get over the loving feeling when I know God is here with me, showing his amazing mercy and grace on me.  His presence really is like the bible says it is.  Once you've had it, you'll never want to go anywhere without it, and you'll never be the same again.  I would go through this past gruesome several months all over again because I have never felt more loved than I do now.  God really is Good.


Thursday, July 22, 2010

Addictions And Predictions

I've been tested and tried this past few weeks like non other.  It seems as though the devil just loves to torment my weakness.  Addictions are so ridiculous.  Through out this I've felt the need to read Romans 8 every night before bed.  It's not the whole chapter but the first section in that chapter.  For those who know Romans 8, you know it's a pretty significant chapter.  I've posted the section below...


Romans 8 (NIV)
Life Through the Spirit
    1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,[d] 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
    5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.6The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
    9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
    12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,[h] Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Through this I think I am learning, we will sin, we will do bad things, we will do things that seem uncontrollable to us, but the trick is to stop feeling so guilty! It's hard, and I am fighting that same aspect myself.  But as you see in Romans 8 we are slaves to sin, sin is making our decisions.  We must realize that we are human and it's how we respond to our mistakes that changes us and makes us who we are.   It's so hard. I can get so frustrated with myself regarding the choices I make, but if I start to feel guilty it only gets worse.  We just have to keep on trying and trying again.

Ladies & Gentlemen, the ONLY way we can get out of this is THROUGH Jesus.  We can not do this, hence why it says in Galatians 2:20 that we must be crucified with Christ, so that WE are dead, and CHRIST is the one who is living in us.  When He lives in us, our wants will be sacrificed.  Thus becoming a slave (an extremely well-treated slave) to Christ verses becoming a slave to sin, where we die and get treated very horribly I might add.  Choose you this day whom you will serve.

I say this as not a person who's overcome my addictions but as one who is learning everyday and fighting to become free.  As one who is trying to follow Christ even though I fail at times.   I am in the midst of my struggles and definitely not a perfect person.  

Friday, July 16, 2010

I've Got News!

The LORD is SO GOOD to me! I'm happy to announce I've just been offered a Receptionist Position through a staffing Agency at American Family Insurance!!!

I start on Monday!

I'm so pleased and thankful right now! God is so good!!!! Couldn't have come a at a better time!

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

When It Comes To Freedom?

Thoughts have been in my brain these past few weeks.  Thoughts of freedom, security, love, promises, joy, and how messed up it seems I can be.  Nothing bad mind you, I'm just stating the obvious.  We all know, every single one of us struggles and we can all admit to thinking that we are just messed up.   Somedays it gets a hold of me, moreso than others.  Somedays I seem to see every flaw and every bad habit that needs fixing.  It gets so frustrating to me.  My errors seem to come in every shape or size.  Some are going to take a long time to overcome, some probably only need a few minor changes to get rid of, but for whatever size they may be it doesn't distinguish the quantity of my problems.  It's just overwhelming.  I see these flaws and I just want them gone, I want them rid of, I want Freedom from them.   As a Christian, it's easy to get caught up in the whole "I shouldn't have these problems, I should have freedom in Christ".   That is precisely the thoughts I have been struggling with these past few weeks.  

I've been hearing things how Christians underestimate the power Jesus has, how He has given us the same power to help people, to help us.   It gets me thinking, just when will we see this evident in our own lives? I know God has promised me Freedom but yet I daily struggle to keep on top of my addictions.  One slip too many could potentially lead me places I have long tried to forget.   Temptations are still there, I still can't have certain foods around, I can't look at my weakness and feel, "I've got this under control".  Every day is a fight for me.  

I asked a pastor about these questions and he gave me a wise reply. "There is no magic wand, no magic pill to take, to eliminate our problems" Oh how I wish it was that easy.  For some God can completely wipe away sin in peoples lives in a heartbeat, but for most of us, he chooses to help us get rid of them and overcome them.  He said, everyday is a process, every morning we need to wake up and die to ourselves, sacrifice our wants for what God wants, take things one step at a time.   It sounds depressing but yet completely true.   It reminds me of one of my favorite verses...  
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."  Galatians 2:20
We just need to trust that God has got our back.  He died for us to be free, why wouldn't he carry it out to completion?  Especially when we are ready, willing, and asking for this amazing freedom to take place in our lives.  God has been working on me a lot regarding my eating habits, my emotional well being, my past, forgiveness and so much more.  It's just seems so hard because I can only see so much at a time.  What seems like very little or no progress to me could mean milestones for God.   In the end, I know God will carry out his promise to me, He will grant me my freedom.  Another thing I have to remember, I am still human.  I am still living on Earth.  Complete freedom will not take place until that glorious day when I get to see my Jesus face to face.  That hug will be a hug I'll never want to let go.  

Monday, July 5, 2010

Life, And All That Implies

3 weeks into my unemployment and not a whole lot has turned up.  I'm using my money wisely, by not spending ANY of it! But life happens you know? There's not a whole lot we can do when life chooses to happen.  My poor car I've had since I was 18 is pretty broken right now.  Something is wrong with my front driver's side tire, I can feel it as I drive.  My car doesn't drive as straight as it once did either.  Not to mention my air conditioner decided to have mood swings on me, so some days I get it but most days I don't.  I know I need at least my tire fixed because I am pretty sure it's not technically safe to drive on but alas... it is my only source of transportation.   I've been trying not to drive it except to Church and back but even then, it probably won't help much.  I am ready for job.  I have to get my car fixed soon.  I've gotten a couple of tips, but most only leading to seasonal jobs.  I'm not going to turn my head away on those because even seasonal jobs supply paychecks! 

I have to say it's been a relaxing past 3 weeks of unemployment.  I've had hardly anything really to do but spend some time on me.  I've had my bad days as well, but thankfully those have not been too often!  

Honestly I could use some prayer support.  Especially for God to supply a job and for my car to get fixed with little expense.  I'm trying to keep my faith up as I know God will provide but I am human.  I'd be lying to say I have no worries.  

I think what has really been on my mind as far as emotional and spiritual changes has been centered on one single word, and that is Honesty.  I'm seeing more and more that true friendship feeds on true honesty towards each other even when it comes to point where it may hurt that other person.  In the long run it's better.  I'm tired of being the person who sneaks along trying to please everyone and keep my opinions to myself.  I was such a horrible people pleaser before Mercy and I've become better but I still have a long ways to go.  It was to the point where I didn't have opinions... on anything!  God has given me a life, circumstances I've learned from, and friends I've gained honest support from, why in the world should I hide what God has given me?  I'm trying to change.  I want to be able to speak my mind. For all of you who have known me as the push-over well, Kelley the people pleasing push over is no more! For those of you who are in contact with me, I'll give you honesty but I also want honesty in return.  Feel free to speak your mind with me as well!